“Like a jewel”

Worked on the novel this morning, and off and on throughout the day. Polishing the first sex scene like a jewel. It’s what passes for “draft” work for me now. I edit and rewrite, polish and massage as I go. I just keep working scenes until they feel right. I also do read-throughs and updates as new things make themselves known to me. Thus far the thing is staying pretty much under control, though the protagonist is, in some subtle ways, emerging as worse than even I had thought.

14,197 words into it now, not that I’m counting.

“Still, I’m not sure.”

I do a partial read-through and edit before pressing on with the work. Thus far it’s feeling pretty good. Still having point of view quandaries, though. Sometimes we know what the protagonist is thinking; other times we don’t. He’s clearly dishonest (one of the most dishonest characters I’ve ever worked with), even with himself, and I’m trying to get that across without beating the reader over the head with it. Still, I’m not sure. What else is new?

“To please myself and the reader, not necessarily in that order”

Worked on the book in the room and also on the plane. Plowed on into the next scene. I am trying to stay out of deep drilling while banging out the initial. These are just rough cuts and then I go back and refine except for an absolute “Oh shit!” in which case I fix it, or at least band-aid it, on the spot. Even this early I am finding the characters to be obstreperous and willful. An unruly bunch. The protagonist I understand the best (which says little favorable about me) and even he is wiggling in the glare of the light.

As to the issue of chapter divisions, I’m still staying away from those. The book has 6 defined sections and there are unnamed / unnumbered breaks between scenes. That strikes me as sufficient and it further strikes me as needless to impose a pointless Chapter 1, 2, 3 structure on the thing. I posed a question on this issue on Rara Avis and got the expected mix of responses, a few helpful and thoughtful, others not so much. I got a chuckle out of the comments that equated leaving out chapter breaks with not using paragraph breaks. (Excuse me: HUH?) Ditto the warnings that not having chapter breaks might displease editors. Like I give a shit? The beauty of this endeavor is that I no longer have to concern myself with middle persons; I’m here only to please myself and the reader, not necessarily in that order.

All in all, an interesting array of answers, and I’m grateful to one and all.

“It still isn’t right”

While here I’ve had several long work sessions on the book and don’t have much to show. I’m trying to get over the production orientation that I’ve always had, and focus on getting it right, even when (as today) I dwell on two or three paragraphs and work them to death til I feel all right about them. It’s about the process, not the outcome; about enjoyment for me, period. And in this I am doing well.

Here, for example, is a paragraph I’ve labored over for hours, and it still isn’t right.

“To keep from working on the book”

Things I did to keep from working on the book this morning:

  • Walked an extra mile.
  • Emptied the dishwasher and put dirty stuff in.
  • Spent an inordinate amount of time finding just the right house for the protagonist.
  • Answered every email the instant it came in.
  • Updated my to-do list.
  • Updated my contacts list.
  • Wrote and posted this.

“He’s a piece of work”

As usual I am foregoing formal exposition, preferring to parcel out what the reader needs to know while moving the story ahead. It’s a lot to keep going at one time — illuminate character, advance the plot, and back-and-fill with exposition. Thus far I’m not totally displeased with it, but I’m doing a lot of re-tinkering.

Chapter breaks are an issue. Have not decided how to handle that. In other work I’ve broken quite often in mid-scene somewhere between 1500 and 1800 words. May do that this time; may not. I’ve actually had the thought of having no chapter breaks at all. There are five parts / sections to the book and maybe those will be the only artificial divisions — the rest could be just the scene breaks.

One nice part is, protagonist is front and center from the very first sentence. Which is as it should be. I’m not giving away the store on him early, though. I need to suck (strike that) draw the reader in, get ‘em good and hooked, before they get the full picture on the guy. Because he’s a piece of work. Believe me.

“This book is beyond me”

Having run out of reasons not to, I actually started letting air into it. Got the one-paragraph ‘prologue’ drafted. Felt pretty good. I feel like this book is beyond me for a lot of reasons. There’s a lot going on, some real heavy character-driven stuff, and not only that, something lacking in my work thus far, a ‘message,’ about which I am feeling exceptionally self conscious. I also am acutely aware that it is a very dark tale. I’ve had the title for some time — SUDDEN SILENCE: a tale of murder and consequences. At least that way the reader knows that all is not as it may seem with my really pretty awful protagonist.

“Scary!”

Yesterday morning in Houston was novel once again. I’m done with the scenario, pretty much; did some cleaning up of other files. I’m about ready to go with the drafting. Whoo, scary! Many more revelations await with this thing.

“A honey of a time”

Morning work time was devoted to the novel and what a honey of a time it was. Lots of good progress. I realized it’s the only time of my life that I feel truly content. I just get lost in it. And that’s good for me.

“It keeps bringing me back”

This novel is just becoming so thick and rich in my head and on paper, it’s hard to believe. I’ve been working on it off and on since January 07. I’ve tried to push away from it and it keeps bringing me back. There being no demand for any other work, I am now doing strictly as the so-called muse commands, and it does me a lot of psychic good even though I see no possible good for the task otherwise. Fuck it. Most everything else I do, I do on behalf of others at least to some extent. So now I’ll do as I please with this.